Free...

If your world did come crashing down, (3:00 PM)

Or if your life’s completely at sea,

If the pyre of fate did thence ensue,

Its attack on you – the prey in sight,

I’ll feel for your pain, but you see,

There’s not much that I can do,

I have not the power to change fate,

To look beyond and see times to come,

For here I am, a little dot of life,

Amidst the ocean colors around,

For could I really change the wind,

Change the way life turned about?

But if there be a little dash of grey,

In your page of life – always so white,

If a sense of gloom did hold forth,

Defy your attempts to set it free

Then I shall show you the light of joy,

In little things that you could enjoy,

For hidden amidst the course of life,

Doth go unseen the remedy unseen

I make not promises that I can’t keep

I speak not words that I mightn’t follow

I dream not dreams I cannot achieve

But if there’s one thing – I believe in thee

So if there’s a thorn in your feet unseen,

I’ll look for it and try ease the pain,

If you know not what irks your soul,

Then let’s talk about it, let’s test time

If words can help you in your search,

For the source from which it does flow,

Fine strands of gloom that loom above

Making your world slow, weak, murky

I don’t claim to understand your life

I don’t proclaim to heal all your woes

But if you need to be heard out,

Or have someone reflect your thoughts

Look about and I shall be there

Together, we shall set your mind free (4:17 PM)

27^th Dec 2006

Void thought

Amour

The golden rays of the setting sun, (10:47 AM)

Lit up her auburn hair bright

The spectacle reflected off coffee-brown eyes

Fore the horizon swallowed the sun with her heart,



Twas hardly a month ago when she

Had her life stormed by a peaceful gale

That swept her away, caught her unaware,

Was it love? That had left her at sea?



For you see it wasn’t her desire to be,

Involved in a relation she couldn’t foresee

He appeared out of the blue, refreshingly fresh,

Making her heart play tunes she hadn’t foreknown



She knew not what had sprung betwixt them,

It wasn’t a form of affection – driven by urge

Nor was there a need for the word said you see

Had there grown a new bond – complete, tacit



Those countable hours they spent engrossed in time,

She knew not how but he knew all of her needs

Soft words, reluctant smiles abridged all the gaps,

The moments faded away, each special in kind



The days slipped away at an elusive pace,

Unaware of the world, a tranquil union of life,

Before the feeling could hold, the wind had changed,

Its tune sent forth askew, a non- resonant vide



Just like the gale that had changed her light,

Had it given her sight or taken it away?

For before comprehension of the change could she,

Did the moment leave her side and so did he



Now, as she stood with the moon rising to the sky,

Silver rays caressing her body lifting her soul,

She felt energy lift above and scatter apart

Leaving a spark in her eyes igniting the night



Stood there did she, looking beyond,

Her skin shining bright, so pure and serene

She felt in her heart a warm iridescent glow,

Hidden in she, lay soft glimpses of he (11:40 AM)

Void Thought
26th Oct 2006

Derailed

The drops larger now, pattered much louder,(4:23 PM)
Each droplet with more vigor did drop forth...
The shadows loomed large, across his path,
Reminding him what lay behind, gone past

The gale grew stronger as trees screeched in protest,
Gray skies bore witness to the lonely soul move forth
Empty streets greeted his arrival, vacant and drenched
Accompanied by none other than echoes of his breath

In the far distance he saw the first sight of human life,
Sounds in teeming resonance, blurry images flicked by
He dragged on slower now, breathing slower each step
Moved closer in to witness children at play, passing time

Unaware of the rain, the gloom, the shadows all across,
Engrossed in the moment of joy, unaware of the past,
They raced across in the rain, faces gleaming with joy,
But alas, they knew not, the clock ticks and so shall they

Somewhere is his sore body a little pang was ignited,
Reminding him of his self, of relationships left by,
He knew that there was reason, factors of elusive play,
Overshadowing the child which dormant in him did lay

He reached across the street, next to a cold wooden bench,
On which did he then lay, shadowed by ghosts of his past,
As he closed his eyes, the shadows surrounded with an urge
Swallowing his callous self, watched over by the silent rain(5:01 PM)

Void thought
21st Oct 2006

Pretence

Pretence

I looked back at the voices fading away,(9:34 PM)
Dragging along the path ahead of me,
Was there a meaning in all these lies?
Is there a life, amidst mindless pretence?

I find no meaning, no trace of life,
Tired of lying about how I now feel,
Tired of all games with hidden deceit,
Sick of the lies that I ensue on forth...

What’s the baseless point in acting all nice?
Paint a plastic smile across an abstract face
Laugh at humor so dry it makes me choke...
I wonder if this is fun...then what am I?

The winds have changed, time moved on
I stare blind at these faces around me
Act as though they make sense, but why?
Why lie? Why try? When it’s all a LIE?

The patterns of condescending lives
Stretched across times gone by
Sometimes merge, sometimes cross
But mostly, they just lie – Lie and LIE!

The strain is too strong, the lies too far gone
Air too thick with the stench of pretence,
My breath stops for an iota, making me choke,
Then I realize that I need take it no more

For now I have the fire, the desire
The energy the feed, the force
Need not the comfort of false ties
Moved on have I, have you, and has LIFE!!!(9:45 PM)

Void Thought
20th Oct 2006

Eclipse

The flash across my face (11:51 AM)
Consumed the pain beside
And as I stood, clear mind
At last I see what’s right

Sight fades slowly first
Making me think back
Think of all lies I’d said
As images flitter across

One of them sneered at me
A different sign then I saw
For there was I self-conceited,
False pretences all across

I saw filth across the world
Celluloid – did I then call
It took time for me to see
In me celluloid I did find

I walked across the plains I saw
Pointing out all the little flaws
Jeering at the filthy world
And the purity of my sancta kind

And finally today I see truth redefined
I see all filth I saw – took it by my side
And as I saw the final, images flit across
I slipped into a pool of red – some good I’d DONE AT LAST!!!!!(12 pm)

Void Thought
27th sep 2006

False Pretences

Why show me all these pictures (11:31 AM)
So vague, concealed in lies,
Why show me a world not for me,
That can never set me free…


Why make me see the light around,
When to darkness I am bound…
Why play these games with my life?
When devoid of an aim I ride…

Tired am I of these games, blistered are my feet.
I try to smile and play along, hoping it shall cease,
But whilst I lay drenched in elusive void sights…
Somehow, the darkness cheats – shows what’s right.

I go about proclaiming greatness of some kind,
While behind these lies – dances fear, eating on my mind,
The flimsy cover blown apart, I find – to nothing did I bind,
For you see – What I am, is absolute incomplete defined.

Yet again you play with me ruthlessly unkind,
Thus in this race does my mind, fall far behind
Hang onto the thread of life, knowing from the first,
I understand cuts on my feet are meant to quench your thirst…

All the blankness makes complete sense.
For I see the truth – now all dense
Normalcy for a ‘freak’ like me,
Just false pretences meant to be (11:43 AM)

Void Thought
27th Sep 2006

Celluloid…

The milling crowd disperse at night,(5:40 AM)
I walk along the path staring about,
A lost look smeared across my face,
An inner sense – Something’s not right,


I stand there again as the sun does rise,
Monotonous as always, the same old sight,
Then, life moves like it always does…
For you see, here’s where the cliché lies.


Each face seems bright radiant, aglow
Every lucid movement across my path,
The plastic smiles, redundant signs,
I stand, unnoticed watching life flow…


I wonder what rests beneath the sheen,
Under this flimsy sheet of pretence and lies,
Wonder where this path could lead,
Ponder what the signboards could mean…


Pretty soon, I’d put them all on paper,
All the flaws of all the ones around,
I am sick of these – conceited souls,
I stay away on ground that’s safer…


Then, land ahoy! I saw the end,
All my effort was to get its worth,
For I saw the path in front of me lay,
It came to an end across the bend


Smirking at the fools left behind,
I rushed along, across to the end,
Full of ecstatic joy, I go around,
Expecting to find peace for my mind,


But alas, around the fateful bend,
I find a huge mirror, right at the end,
And in it a young face did I see,
A tremor of shock did it through me send…


Staring back at me was a conceited face,
Complacent, plastic sneering at life,
And I was left thus, wondering aloud,
In the quest to be not…have I become not?????(6:32 AM)

Void Thought
September 19, 2006

Wake up

Wake up – See life as it withers away,(4:58 AM)
As you lay asleep – sweet dreams inside,
Wake up and see, now have your say
Fore the power of sight does fade away…

Look beyond the horizons you see,
And fly past the fixations beneath..
Erase all the lies that have set you free
Stop lying to yourself about what you do see…

Don’t bask in the glory of false belief,
Let go of the past that holds you to be…
Don’t be fooled by the calmness and relief,
That seems to come on to recede belief…


Look into the mirror of light from converging skies,
Feel life in your veins, each figment you breathe
There is no path easy to the abode of the gods.
Stop looking for detours in the vastness of skies…

Wipe away the tears as they trickle down,
Aye! Drench not yourself in pitiful drops…
On the face of fate, don’t engrave a frown,
Coz, the deeper you go, the farther is down…


Wake up – let go new life deep inside
Lets sparks fly forth and lay illusions aside,
Life’s what you make it so make it thence last…
Open golden doors to the soul and then look inside…(5:26 AM)

Void Thought
18th Sep 2006

Through the door she walked …

A face did deflect the moon’s dark rays,
As she flew across the horizon – in a daze,
Transfixed in shock, consumed by fear,
In complete disarray did her mind flee.


The moon gave way to a bright blue sky
But somewhere within, she didn’t accept this lie,
For her mind was traitor, a cheat in disguise
Waiting - an error to consume and watch her cry…


The dreams into nightmares did turn beside,
Consuming all saneness that within did reside
The stench of doubt and the sound of faith,
Did create waves in her soul – a resounding kind.


As she fell from one world to one of a different kind,
Did she look around – uncertain, for an exit from the mind,
Not strength did she lack, but rather conviction inside
To fight her own mind and let go – move on with the tide…


As she flew across the blue that engorged the mind,
She found no reason to try, for you see she was blind,
Blinded by the cocoon that enveloped her psyche,
Turning her from a rebel to an unwilling aide,


As the games went on did the mind slowly tire,
Thence did she act upon a voice of a different kind,
As the whisper came through telling her the way,
She nodded slowly, an expression of uneasy glee…


At the next passage she fell – breaking the bond,
Thus the mind was ripped right free of her soul
As she moved on tentatively new vigor beside…
Embracing freedom from sanity as through the door she walked….
15 Sep 2006

Deception

Deception



Once upon a time eons ago(11:30 AM)
There was a fair land – pure and true
Blessed lands were they, by a higher force
An aura of peace did it seem to hold

The blue extended from the ends of the world
The green leaves chattered, swaying their souls
Breaths of moist air, coursed all through the lands
Life layered above over an expanse of golden land

Twas’ amongst this land that I once lived
A child with lively, twinkling bright eyes
With this sacred land did I share a bond
A tacit agreement wrapped up in love

The wind – my best friend held all my secrets within
Blue skies with their expanse drank up my soul
Green leaves on the cue were like whispering pals
And then came love, the soft moist golden land

I pranced about with the wind day in and day out
With every breath that I took brightened my face
My skin tingled from soft caresses of the wind
Their jokes left me rolling about – half crazy

But as the days went by the breeze became warm
The leaves drooped down and then grew brown
The sly although blue – now simply and expanse
The warm earth turned dry and cold as life spun

I was shocked, confused and irritated at heart
For I couldn’t see how friends could be thus
Hard did I try to make amends and to realize,
But alas! Was left each night – empty hands beside

Tears drenched me for the sorrow was too great
My friends, my love, my faith and my life betrayed
They moved on with life, and left me far behind,
To lay wretched alone, soiled and embittered by fate

Soon seasons moved through and colors tuned by
And with time dried my tears and pain inside
For a brutal witness was I to life’s deception
A deception by form of friendship and love

Now, as the sun starts a day and shines with his might
The rays leave me unfazed like the rock inside(2:35 PM)
4th Aug 2006

Wannabe OR Want to be ?

I fly across the blue sky staring down at the busy roads, filled with thousands of people, all busy and immersed in their lives. From this height everything seems vague; for I witnessed an intricate weave of black dots moving in and out of each other, slowly making way for the other colors to merge within and complete the fusion…

Each one moved onward, oblivious of their surroundings, each absorbed in their own thoughts and beliefs. Each complete in themselves, brooding over their own needs and desires, each forming a cocoon of security around themselves with their hollow daily facades.

Let me first visit a house not far from here, a young voice screeches through the windows, I try to shut out the sounds emanating from the house. Most of the sound is confined to the upper part of the two storied building… I peep in through the window and see a young man jumping around throwing himself up and down in a rhythm, screaming in tandem with the metallic sounds that drew forth from a huge music system in his room. He has adorned on his untarnished body a black shirt, still warm from the factory and displaying the slogan “I’m a rebel”. On his left shoulder, he has a tattoo defining the symbol of his favorite heavy metal band. He runs his hand over the tattoo, thinking about how he looks macho with it, his face twisted in a self-conceited grin. His cell phone rings and he picks it up letting out a string of profanity that he’s picked up of late. He gloats for few minutes about the great new music CD he’s bought and how his new girl is crazy about him. I look around and find his whole room plastered with posters like “Life ain’t fair”, “Bring it on” and “Are you tough enough? “. He goes about everyday trying to be tough and hard like the songs that he listens to… His screams echo off the walls as I turn away from the window…

Let me now move towards a certain young soul who scourges the busy streets of the city with a fresh vigor each day trying to make both ends meet. He has messy hair, frayed clothes and a heavily lined face that made him look twice his age… He moves on each day trying to find something new to do in this world where survival is no longer a free accessory. Each new penny that he manages to procure adds to the spark in his eyes, adds an extra bounce to his legs. But, in the midst of all the smoke and dust and pain that surrounded his life, you see a flash across his face, his smile - unfenced. He knows not what lies in wait for him the next day, he knows not if he’ d have to go hungry tonight. He knows what it means to be tough, he knows that life isn’t fair, but he isn’t going about screaming the same to the world. He isn’t complaining or cursing all that goes on around him… I turn away from this young soul who has indeed seen the likes of sordid drudgery right in the face…

Now, as I move away from these two young souls, I ask myself – who is tough? Who is a “want to be” and who’s a “wannabe”?

Why is everything that we do affected by the inclination of the ones around us? The clothes we wear, the books we read, the movies we watch, even the words we speak are revolving around the iris of our peers. WHY? Isn’t it time for us to break free our shackles and look into the larger spectrum of life? It is said that “There is no end to a desire”.It is impossible for a human being to attain anything close to perfection in any phase of life… But there are so many young souls around us who are already hardened by their self-complacency and by the illusionary world that they seem to float within… They seem to happy enough finding energy and meaning in anger, rebellion and in several other channels that are far beyond even basic comprehension of their addled minds. WHO IS TO BLAME? God? Fate? Life? Or the youths themselves?

If only life was so simple that you could just blame someone and get on with it…If only it was so…

Today we are in an age where the agitated, confused and anger driven individual is being provoked and given fire… I let free the fragment of my thought into the blue sky and let it wander away while wondering “Where is the end?” or more ironically “Has there been a beginning?”

This were the result of a wonderful little boy whom I came to see upon a course of a day's work....

A Paradigm

Hi, I’m another guy amongst the buzzing millions that are spread across this huge city. Normal life, normal thoughts and normal attitudes. But there was once incident in the not so recent past that shook my very foundations, made me doubt all the logic that my computer programming teachers had taught me. For it left me wondering about the probability of coincidence being coincidence…

It was a hot summer evening and I was late for my flight to Paris, it was a trip that I was looking forward to in big way. It was my big opportunity to prove myself. I wanted to stand out amongst the 200 or so software engineers in my company. An angry honk of a car brought me back from my reverie; I turned around to find a Toyota Innova behind me that was packed to the brim. I could see more than five or six kids in the back seat. But I couldn’t help notice that one little child, (I couldn’t see the face, just a vague outline) was sitting very quietly holding on to something very tightly. The lights turned from orange to green and the car moved away towards the airport entry. I followed them, suddenly aware of the fact that I’d end up missing my flight if I didn’t move faster.

As I drove into the parking lot I noticed that someone had spilled a can of orange paint across the footpath, making it glisten brightly in the evening sun. Dragging my baggage behind me I rushed towards the entry cursing the authorities for the obnoxious parking charges. Finding that my plane was a few minutes late, I decided to get myself something to drink. At the drink stall, I found that they’d run out of soft drinks and the new stock isn’t cold enough yet, all they had left was some old orange juice. While I stood there staring at the teeming rows of orange juice, I strangely noticed that I wasn’t thirsty anymore. While I hung around goofing about with the change dispensers, I felt a certain weight settle onto my neck. I turned around and found a pair of eyes across the lounge boring into my back. I couldn’t see anything more because of all the people that walking all across the place.
I moved closer to have a better look at my hidden enemy. I caught a glimpse of black, shiny curls. More intrigued than ever I walked faster now towards what I hoped was an apparition. Then, I saw him - a little boy with round black eyes with shiny black curls bouncing on top of his pale face. I smiled at him amused to see a kid so interested in me. I waved at him, my smile widening further. Then, suddenly there appeared a grave expression on his placid face and he slowly shook his head from side to side. I was taken aback to see such a serious expression on the face of such a young child, it seemed so out of place on that face that had shone with an aura of calmness moments ago. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. “Flight no S-220 B headed towards Paris is ready for takeoff”” blared the loudspeaker, bringing me back. I turned away moving towards the luggage check-in, when I noticed a glimpse of orange in the hands of the boy. On closer inspection I realized that he was holding in his hand a huge orange balloon. I’d hardly taken a couple of steps when a loud “pop’ pierced the air. I spun around to find a shocked expression on the boy’s face - His lovely orange balloon a wad of useless rubber. Within moments high pitched uncontrollable wails pierced the evening air. I turned around, taken aback by the sudden change. The little boy was screeching at the top of his voice. I waited for a few seconds looking around and trying to see if anyone was disturbed by the whole thing, but surprisingly every person seemed too absorbed in their own things to even notice all the commotion going on here. As the sounds grew louder and louder the voice started to sound metallic, not like a little kid - for I couldn’t think of anything I’d ever seen that could make the kind of noises I could hear emanating from that child... Within me there began to swell an overflowing sense of emotion was uncontrollably pushing outward from within me... Then the kid got wild - the pitch of his voice took such an excruciating note that my head felt like it had been pierced with a hundred needles. My whole body was in sync with a frequency that scared me and sent a wave of chills down my spine leaving me all shaken up. With a moment’s indecision, I ran out of the place leaving everything behind - scared out of my wits. I ran out, got into my car and raced away. I drove as fast as I could, past the busy streets and away from all the noise, trying to escape what was behind me. I stared into the setting sun - the orange sky and drove faster, as though trying to catch up with it... After what seemed like hours had gone by I slowed down a little and stopped the car. I was breathing heavily and after taking a deep breath, I felt a wave of relief wash over me - making me feel cool and relaxed although I was locked up inside a car with no AC on a hot humid day. I switched on the radio hoping some music would cheer me up. A sing song voice came out of it and said ““We interrupt this program to give you a news flash - The Sahara flight to Paris, flight no S-220B has crashed and all there are no survivors. The reason for the crash is still unknown although authorities feel that it might be a result of a technical glitch. It was found that there was “.....I didn’t hear anymore of it. For a second I felt that I couldn’t breathe - a choking sensation enveloped me and I tried to figure out if it was claustrophobia. Finally, I managed to find the lock and let myself out. Breathing in large gulps of air I leaned against the car and felt all energy drain out of me. As I stood there I felt that the road was wet and for the first time, I looked around me and found that I was already accompanied by a black sky and a cool breeze. I was in a field of some sort for an unending expanse lay about all around me untouched and untarnished by the fallacies of the world. I stood there trying to make some sense of the whole episode. I stared up at the shimmering black sky and was presented with
a shooting star tracing an arc across the horizon, its deep orange color lighting up my face and eyes…

A whim of my imagination –

The masterpiece

Vikas had lived in the small town of Rajghar all his life. The ones who remember him as a child would be sure to mention as to what a strange boy he was… In fact, none of his mates from St. Johns would even remember him today…More than four decades have passed since he’s crossed the gates of the school – an orphan, lost and confused. As the headmaster Bro. Malcolm set his watery eyes upon the curious little 10 year old who stood before him, he noticed that although the boy was small for his age and seemed weak and fragile, there was something in his eyes that made him seem truly special.

During his first few years in Rajghar, Vikas hardly talked to anyone. He used to have an hour each Thursday with Bro. Malcolm, who was the only person around who seemed to care for him. Vikas was a bright child - observed several of his teachers, but hardly showed any interest in studies. He didn’t understand the need to read or learn something that has already been thought of by someone else. Each day he looked around him his bright eyes shining curiously for something new, something he could think about the whole day, forgetting the boring hours in class studying pointless and silly rules and laws that served no purpose to anybody. In the midst of all these hours, there was one thing that excited Vikas the most, the art class. There he could see things that were true creations from the soul. Vikas couldn’t afford to buy colors for himself, so he would spend each evening searching for pieces of charcoal and then scrawl away to sleep.

It was when he was sixteen years old that he got his first set of paints, a gift from Bro.

Malcolm. It was a brown wooden box with SIXTEEN different colors and a green quilted brush to go with it. Soon Vikas began selling his paintings in the art exhibition s held at the city 5 km away. Several years passed in this fashion and Vikas grew out of the little timid boy that he was into a huge giant of a man quite unlike his childhood self. Half the town of Rajghar was terrified of this giant who spoke to none, while the other half stared after him in awe. Soon with the money he made over the years, Vikas managed to get a small shack for himself.

One day, Vikas was returning back home from the city and found that sky seemed a pale shade of gray, the color of the bottom of the ponds of Rajghar in the summer when all the water had been drunk up by the skies. There was a sense of urgency in the air and Vikas feeling that something was amiss, quickened his pace.

As he reached the outskirts of Rajghar, he found the little town in an unusual sense of gloom and a shadow of darkness seemed to surround the place. He slowly moved on to the crowd gathered in the middle of the town chattering noisily. As he walked by, he overheard an old man mutter “What a pity... what a pity, Malcolm was a good man” The next two hours were a void patch for Vikas, It was like the world had stopped for a second, like time had gone on leaving caught between two time periods. He never did see Bro. Malcolm's body, didn't ever go near the black coffin bordered with gold. He stood unnoticed like a shadow enveloped into the reflections of the setting sun as the whole town prayed for Bro. Malcolm's soul and expressed their sorrow around him. Vikas stood by with a distant look upon his face, His eyes dilated, breathing irregular and with a fixed expression. He didn't hear the priest giving the sermon, he didn't see the the coffin being lowered into the ground. He simply stood in his dark spot with no expression of sorrow or grief, pain or loss. Suddenly, thunder broke out in the empty sky and it began raining heavily - showing all chances of it being a rough night with the strong winds that has begun to blow. The people moved away and the priest moved up to Vikas and handed a brown envelope to him. In it, Vikas found a paper that entitled him the ownership of all assets owned by Bro. Malcolm including his huge mansion where Vikas had spent so many Thursdays discussing the different nuances of life.

Vikas left slowly , walked to his shack and picked up the painting that he had promised the curator of the exhibition next week. He found himself staring at a beautiful painting of a serene and warm landscape, where white birds flew across a blue sky, a lush display of green, each part of the painting enriching the other. Vikas stared at it for a second and then, tore the beautiful painting into pieces. It lacked ‘heart’ he felt…he’d put too mind into it and missed out the “heart”

An hour later he moved into the old mansion with a white canvas and the box tucked under him arm. He walked to the room with a huge crystal chandelier above him. Each crystal of the chandelier was a hexagonal crystal. As Vikas stared at it, it shone back at him with vivid shades of green and violet in the moonlight. It was here that he’d spent some of the best moments of his childhood. He didn’t bother to use any light and simply began by opening his thirty year old paint box. As he reached into it, the moon shone brightly on the two colors left in the box, the ones he’s saved for a special piece of work. To left of the palette he spread some ‘midnight black’ and to the right he smeared some ‘Angelic white’ and set to work. The storm now grew stronger and the gales began knocking on the big wooden door. Vikas began to dab the canvas with shades of black and white moving slowly from one part to another. The door which was unlocked was thrown open by the raging winds and the cold air came flowing into the room. As the wind wrapped her arm around Vikas, spread across his face a look of glee and his hands started moving faster. It was almost as though he had gone into a daze with the brush moving effortlessly across the sheet with practiced ease. He moved faster and faster and soon he was almost enveloped by the consummate frenzy brought on by the cold air. The chandelier shrieked loudly now, tinkling along with a rhythmic chant… then suddenly the room was enveloped by darkness.

The old lady across the street slowly opened her door to let in her dog that had been caught out in the rain. The little doggie ran in letting out a yelp that was drowned by a deafening crash from the dark skies followed by a sudden tinkling noise. Within minutes the storm breathed a sigh and fell quiet, fading away as thought it was never there.

A week later…

Ramlal asked his master who was a reputed art collector and had been to the art exhibition the day before, “Akash saab did you buy anything?” . “Well…” replied Akash “I bought the best piece of work in the place” then he unfolded a canvas from his briefcase. Ramlal stared in wonder and an intricately weaved array of black and gray with a hexagonal hole write in the middle of the painting and then as he stared amazed at the crimson red border which seemed to make the whole piece come alive, he heard his master utter “You know something? It came from this small town called Rajghar… A true masterpiece”

Does Altruism imply selfishness?

The oxford claims that altruism is “selfless concern for the well-being of others”. Is the existence of an altruist feasible in today’s genre of mentalities? Can an altruist really exist??

For is it possible for you or me to give up everything we’ve got for the selfless concern of humanity? We may think of names that been emblazoned across the golden pages of history, of definite souls who have given up all their lives for the betterment of their people…but what were the circumstances that life did bestow upon them, that made them THEM?

Will a content and satisfied soul ever try to do good for others? For if you have all that you desire, will you try to get more, will you have a reason, will you even be worthy of living – of snatching up a part of life to shell away on your complete and content illusions ?

A closer observation of this scenario leads me to examine the pasts of several so-called altruists who’ve changed the way of the world…

An undeniable fact of the human mind – without a reason - there is no thought, without thought – there is no belief, without belief – there is no hope, without hope – there is no desire, without desire – there is no meaning, and without meaning – WHAT IS LIFE????????

Does not all action get defined by a selfish motive; don’t we all begin our journeys with a step towards our “self”? I claim not that there exist some souls upon this morbid piece of land who have done great service to humanity…but could they have done so, if they didn’t believe in themselves? Could it have been possible if they hadn’t felt the biased heat of life dormant upon their bare backs?

Coming to the same path from the other direction, Is it possible to reach altruism without choosing the path of selfishness?? “A man who knows not his SELF – can never hope to help nother” What sense lies in the words that have been engraved into our minds by all those around us in more forms and vision that can be kept count of, about the cliché’s involved in being selfish? Can there be GROWTH without your self with you??

Isn’t selfishness the only path of moving forward?

Another dictionary defines ‘selfish’ as a person who is egocentric, self-seeking, wrapped up in oneself….

But I ask you if you weren’t centered with your ego(I), how can you home to progress onward – because without your self, you would be nothing but a blind piece of useless furniture coated by a varnish of self complacency lying in the middle of a field full of other pieces like you!

If you seek not your self, then where shall you proceed to now? “Whereth doth the wind blow?” The winds of these searing lands will lie static unless you lead the way of their path, and if you choose not to lead the way , then you shall remain in that one spot of land, surrounded by the acrid smell of incompetence, while the massive drops of failure drench you and teach you the lessons of fear ... Seek your ~ self. BE NOT what the world chooses for you to be.

Wrapped up in oneself - If you are wrapped up in yourself then your journey across the scorching deserts and the bone – chilling ice shall not let your inner self wither away – for at each step of this enlightening journey, you shall find another part of you – waiting to be understood and explored….

SO the question continues for now – can you be an altruist without being a SELFISH , egocentric, egoist????

While my irrational mind ponders on - I give you a chance to take a shot at it yourself…..

Spark

There was a time in my life when the sky was blue (6:03 AM)

When the sun shone gold and thus life felt so true

But as days went by and the green trees grew old

Put out was the sun and the world grew cold

I dragged on thorough the night with the cold and the wind

Staring up at the cloudless night as darkness further dimmed

For the roads were too worn and the world to forlorn

As I was a trace of a past which they shut out every morn

Soon the road turned narrow and my shoes worn and torn

Only barren fields by my side with dead wheat and dry corn

It felt as though life was a chapter of the past bygone

My views were like words from a melancholic song

Soon days turned to weeks but hidden stayed the sun

Neither food nor sleep was part of the web that life spun

My shoes were to worn and my lips all cracked and parched

My legs gave away to blisters and pangs of pain as I marched

Thus, as the ghosts of yesteryears left me in peace

I learnt how to forget and thus my pain did cease,

My wounds weren’t healed but my scab sealed them out

My heart turned to stone and my mind ceased to shout

Then as I moved on towards the end of the path in a trance,

I happened to stare at the cloudless sky by pure chance

There, nestled in the midst of the dark tresses of the night

Shone the spark, a twinkle than then faded out of sight

I stared at the spot where the star has shone last,

For she had changed a moment with the spark she’d cast

Then as I stood at the edge of the path and stared out,

I saw the horizon light up slow and then passed out

I wish I wake up and see that the spark was for real

For the spark, gave me hope to escape my ordeal

I lay on the cold road my wounds bleeding anew

I peeped at the blue sky and tasted drops of dew (6:30 AM)

Manas R Moothedath

March 25, 2006

Tranzend

The lights dimmed, darkening his face (3:05 PM)

He looked an average-Joe totally commonplace

But something in his eyes ~ one couldn’t place

For you simply couldn’t follow his dark gaze

He dragged on shuffling slow

His tatters in the wind did blow

The sorrows ~ that made him grow

Lay deep amongst the falling snow

The city was falling asleep

Bright lights ~ going to sleep

Into the cold night slowly did seep

An eerie sense terror that instills deep

Every breath that passed turned white at will

The shadows moves steadily, in for a kill

When out of the blue did she spill,

Black green eyes ~ another run on the mill

He moved on ~ his mind full of gloom

A cold metal bench did he witness soon

Slowly lay down he, caressed by the moon

In the freezing cold awaiting inevitable doom

As he lay still on the icy bench,

He felt a warmth across him drench

An intruder had arrived unknown to him

Two bright green eyes shined at his side

The wind gave into a gale - louder now

Taking the warmth across the snow

Finally, as it deemed to settle down slow,

The cold returned to complete the show (4:20PM)

Manas R Moothedath

28/2/2006

IRONYC

Have you ever wondered about things, (9:45 AM)

That made no sense to a normal mind

For the sun does show forbidden sights

Layered in silt and dirt of all kinds

And when the moon doth shine aloud

You stand below caressing the light

While unknown to you, sings a sullen crowd

Cacophonic hymns at a satanic site

You see the drops of dew on a summer day

Smiling ~ happy that you’re on your way

While unseen by you ~ drenched in blood

Have dew drops witnessed a violent flood

You see the boy next door and smile

Bright days of youth ~ a special kind

Fore your breath has passed way, crazy youth turns him senile

It’s like the world is being run by a psychotic sadistic mind

After work, you return home

In your AC car, quiet ~ all alone

Screams of death surround your place

Devoid of truth, onward you race

You get into bed and say your prayers,

An eerie silence thuds – hard in your chest

As sleep calls you toward darker layers

Swallows the night – You and the ignorant REST! (10:00 AM)

Manas R Moothedath

27/2/2006

Deception

Once upon a time eons ago(11:30 AM)

There was a fair land – pure and true

Blessed lands were they, by a higher force

An aura of peace did it seem to hold

The blue extended from the ends of the world

The green leaves chattered, swaying their souls

Breaths of moist air, coursed all through the lands

Life layered above over an expanse of golden land

Twas’ amongst this land that I once lived

A child with lively, twinkling bright eyes

With this sacred land did I share a bond

A tacit agreement wrapped up in love

The wind – my best friend held all my secrets within

Blue skies with their expanse drank up my soul

Green leaves on the cue were like whispering pals

And then came love, the soft moist golden land

I pranced about with the wind day in and day out

With every breath that I took brightened my face

My skin tingled from soft caresses of the wind

Their jokes left me rolling about – half crazy

But as the days went by the breeze became warm

The leaves drooped down and then grew brown

The sly although blue – now simply and expanse

The warm earth turned dry and cold as life spun

I was shocked, confused and irritated at heart

For I couldn’t see how friends could be thus

Hard did I try to make amends and to realize,

But alas! Was left each night – empty hands beside

Tears drenched me for the sorrow was too great

My friends, my love, my faith and my life betrayed

They moved on with life, and left me far behind,

To lay wretched alone, soiled and embittered by fate

Soon seasons moved through and colors tuned by

And with time dried my tears and pain inside

For a brutal witness was I to life’s deception

A deception by form of friendship and love

Now, as the sun starts a day and shines with his might

The rays leave me unfazed like the rock inside(2:35 PM)

Echoes

They sauntered out taking the noise (2:15 PM)

All the colors fresh and bright beside

And there was I pondering recent past

Drumming to the latent beats last casts

All the song and dance leaving their trace

As they moved faster now, in certain haste

I looked across at the thoughts left behind

Absorbing them taking it deep – into my mind

The screams of ecstasy still did seem

Reluctant to move, to fade away

The corners of the room, it did deem

To bend the moment, and make it stay

Soon the rounds gave into a void patch

The music left only light beats intact

The expanse of space did seem so daft

Twas’ emptiness loud that my mind did catch

The sun went down and in came the breeze

Slowing life’s pace ~ as it came to pass

For ~ a certain gloom did it seem to impose

Leaving me with empty and void echoes…(2:40 PM)

Manas R Moothedath

25/02/2006