Nuance

I stood there under the stars (11:58 PM) 27/6/08

The chilly wind tickling my mind

Thence began – I know not dream or farce

Let loose a string of laughter did I

 

Fades away slow, the silly goofy grin

Thinner grows the air with moving time

Weakening echoes give way to eerie sounds

The rings of laughter rendered metallic

 

Days of recent past flit – mocking in glee

The smiles on the faces drew taunt the gloom

For with each smile did each one thus lose

Traces of what doth lie within

 

The crumbling soil beneath bare toes

Did bring me back from pallid thoughts

Thence reeked in sweat – reality dawned

I blinked – Metallic laughter sliced the silent sky (12:33 AM) 28/6/08

 

WAKE UP!

The chimes so faint, it tickled(8:28 AM)

His ears and so wake did he…

To behold the peace of twilight

Soft voices did whisper to him…

He stepped out into the moonlight

The breeze slowly caressing his soul,

Stars smiling from vast clear skies,

Felt the peace – in the silence of night

And across the moonlit horizon

Signs of life – twittered in delight,

He smiled – at the joy of living,

For such beauty did he witness…

He sat down on the moist green grass,

Breathing – each breath adding new life,

It was now that he noticed the difference

As soft whispers now gave way to screams…

The cold floor – screams echoing…

Sliced through his peaceful slumber

Now conscious, he sat up aright

The screams kept throbbing inside

He staggered out to the darkness

The cold wind gnawing at he

He stood with screams of darkness

Floating in a sky of dust…

Across the burning horizon,

Lay carnage, tainted by hell…

He howled in the face of truth,

For such lies in dreams did he see

He broke down onto broken mortar

Dark smoke – choking each breath,

Now the screams consumed his agony

It now whispered – wake UP(8:50)

Void Thought

30/7/07

pUTdOwn

The receding light made patterns(7:25 AM)

Reflecting off the wet horizon…

I could see – lying there in the dirt,

Irony of this condescending phase…

The shadows crept closer – menacing

The air grew colder – thoughts disheveled

Cold wind did flicker the flame within

And then it was all over, the fire was out…

The darkness around danced to melancholy

Tunes of lament that could purge the soul

And on that cold night, under the naked sky

The body turned cold…and then settled down…

Then came peace – I was floating beyond…

Where trivial darkness could not me pursue

But within, I felt not peace, I felt not joy,

For all fairness of life, I should not be put down,

Enslaved by morbid thoughts – tied up

Torn to shreds by a thousand vultures

Left to rot where nay shall ever find…

That there was reason – twas not my time…

The peace slowly began to fade away…

A feeling so heavy it thence drew me down

Placid cold did then – so penetrate

I would have died, if not already so…

The pain returned searing within

For a vital moment time did stop

Broke out a spark – cold body within

I opened by eyes to witness – BEYOND!

The shadows of darkness – surprised, stared

Then sneered – moved closer for the final kill

Screams to fury did ensue from within…

NOW…NOT MY TIME…I WONT BE PUT DOWN(7:45 AM)

Void Thought

30/7/07

I am not God

I stare into the woods; the breeze picking up its pace and soon the sounds that it brought along enveloped my conscience. I breathe…trying to let it all go and I tell myself… "I am not little enough to be perturbed by the winds". The winds of time change their tune and I try to make space for all the new things that the wind had brought along with her the way that I always do…Make way and take in all of it – in one single go. But this time, it was different… the volume that I had to take in left me aghast, shocked at all that had come along my way this time…But until this day the when did blow east screeching in its fury and anger there did always exist a breeze due west that made me feel I could take it all…I try to forget it all and perceive the world as I see in what I believed was 'A larger sight'. But fail did I this time…Ah! Yes it did…unexpectedly – yes, for never had I even in my wildest of dreams expected something so drastic and out of the blue…I was I had believed "Not little enough to be beaten…to lose" but aye, so wrong was I…for I had underestimated the strength of the wind and it blew down – raining me with the rubble from the ruins that had come in its path. The cold stones cut into my flesh, making me bleed and for a second I felt better, the warm blood flowing across my skin and I tried yet again to convince myself… I said "I wasn't so little to let go … to give up". And then, as I lay there amidst the restless dust, I waited for the sun to rise and slowly felt the cold bite into my wounds…making them bleed anew…

And finally realization struck and with the feel of the cold rocks against my face, I let it all go…and broke down sobbing helplessly…for you see I had finally accepted that "I AM NOT GOD!!!"